Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
