Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
