so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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