Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
This house was built for laser tag.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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