dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
