rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
