That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
