Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
