I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
