Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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