your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
