So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
