So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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