Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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