please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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