well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
