I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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