How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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