Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
