I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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