What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
