she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Randomize
