I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i believe in u and ur pee
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
