She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
sarcasm needs its own font
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
