If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
