is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
