Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
