Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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