Non-Jews are for practice
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I have aggressive nipples.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
