Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
