careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
