I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
