i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
