Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
