yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
