You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
its not stalking. its research.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
