just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
