Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
