Swine flu. Run for my life!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
