sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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