Well apparently he's into motor boating.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
