If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
