i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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