seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
