the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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