There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
