Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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