Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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