Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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