Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The chlamydia really affected his face.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
there is puke in my bra ... again
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
