Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
