the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
