my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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